Quality Time
The past 10 months of COVID-related hardships haven’t had many bright spots. But there’s one silver lining of sorts. Due to all the work-from-home arrangements, parents are reporting more relaxed time at home with their children, and they’re enjoying it! Fathers, in particular, are beginning to appreciate how rare it was for them to spend quality time with their children and they’re not quite ready to go back to the way things were.
In two online surveys conducted in June by Making Caring Common, a Harvard School of Education initiative, 68% of surveyed fathers reported feeling closer to their children since the pandemic began. Fathers are appreciating their kids more, finding new shared interests, and talking more about things that are important to them.
Survey respondents reported that they’re communicating better with their kids and sharing deeper feelings. They’re going for more walks, playing more games and developing new routines that involve the kids. While pre-pandemic, some fathers might have retreated to their office or bedroom with their laptop after work, they’re now choosing to spend that down time actively engaging with their children.
Richard Weissbourd, faculty director for Making Caring Common, says that he hopes these effects remain after the pandemic is over. “Part of what we’re trying to underscore in the report is to ensure .. that people don’t just go back to their regular lives. I think if these activities... don’t become part of routines, they’re very likely to vanish.” He encourages parents to continue the family meals, the games, songs, and walks together, which are so important to a child’s development.
A transformation in the relationship between parents and children is one of the harbingers of the era of Moshiach. The prophet Malachi (3:23-24) states, “Lo, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and awesome day of the Lord, that he may turn the heart of the fathers back through the children, and the heart of the children back through their fathers.” Maimonides quotes this verse in his commentary on Mishnah, to support his position that Moshiach “will not come to disqualify or purify anyone, to distance anyone or bring anyone close, but to bring peace into the world.” There’s no greater expression of peace in this world than parents reconciling with their children and learning to enjoy a close, open relationship.
Perhaps we can also say that the father in the verse is emblematic of our Father in Heaven, with whom we will be reconciled when Moshiach comes. One of the best ways we can prepare for this is by fathers utilizing their extra time at home to study Torah with their children, because study of Torah brings peace to the world and hastens the Redemption.